Two Red Lines

back boobs, lying and cute things Andrew says

This post might be about all the things I want to lie about. Or at least a few. 

Violet is saying the most amazing, and interesting and trying things.  This morning when we were getting ready for school/work she said to me, what if your boobs were on your back.  Yeah, I know.   Stinking funny. And really weird to imagine. 

Yesterday we were looking through a kids catalog, some shee-shee furniture and too expensive clothing store.  Violet was picking out CRIBS and CHANGING TABLES that she wanted to have.  When I asked her why she said if I had a baby in my tummy then those are the things she wanted to have.  After I assured her there is no baby in my tummy she looked at me kinda cock-eyed and said, how would a baby get in your tummy?  And I PANICKED.  Seriously.  I didn't think I ever would because I am comfortable with the truth, but not the truth at age almost 5.  Its not so much that I wanted to lie but man, the truth?! And I so got why someone came up with the stupid stork idea one day.  After initial panic I just yelled, ANDREW!  And you know what his explanation was....Magic.  Yeah, Magic and Love. Sit with it. 

The other thing I want to lie about is not as cute.

I told you about Vi's fascination with death.  It pops up probably daily in conversation.  when I thought about all the things that would be difficult about having children, prior to having children, it didn't cross my mind that this would be on the list.  Death.  Not so fun to explain to an almost 5 year old.  When she was brushing her teeth last night, mom, what if I die before you?  Gasp, punch to the stomach.  Mom, will I die tomorrow? And this is about the time I think it might be a good idea to believe in God.  It sure would be easy, or easier, to paint a picture of being reunited with loved ones and kicking it with angels.  Or something.  When she asks the questions I so just want to lie. The questions just keep going too.  How do people die?  How long are you dead for?  What do the doctors do to make you not dead?  To which I answer you don't want to know, forever and nothing.  Its bleak stuff.  

Compared to death, procreation seems a breeze. 

jtm

I can't hula hoop.  The little punk next door, Vela, can hula hoop.  She might just come from hula hoop gene stock however.  I have hips though so I just don't really get why that darn hoop won't stay up.  I almost just now looked up "how to hula hoop"  on the internet.  I kinda feel like I am in this phase of my life where I am all just try me.  Like I can do anything.  Man.  Just try me. Maybe its this advanced age sneaking up on me making me feel like I should be able to do anything with all this experience behind me.  Maybe its because I am coming up on finishing my stint at graduate school.  And when you get close to completing something that you didn't think you could do in the first place then it kinda goes to your head that you could do anything.  It would be really bad right now, having said that, if I indeed did not finish graduate school.  Boy, talk about a downer. 

Andrew and I just passed seven years of loving each other.  Have you ever heard of the 7 year itch?  I'm not itchy.  On the day that we have proclaimed our anniversary we did stuff, I can't even remember what now.  Probably grocery shopping or went to the park.  It was a Sunday and we were family like but we didn't remember that it was our anniversary.  Then when I was driving up to meet Hallie at Ikea, to pretend that we could one day have cute curtains, I remembered Andrew and I hadn't said anything all day about this seven year big deal.  So I called him on the cell and said what we hadn't said all day.  I wasn't mad or upset that we hadn't remembered I was just excited to say hi.  Hi and Happy Stinking Seven Years baby. Seven more?  Just try me. 

I MADE BLUE CHEESE DRESSING!!!!!!

It's amazing how many times I have talked about this subject.  With my old French Horn friends, reminiscing about the dreamy blue cheese dressing we used to make there.  It's the way I first met my lady Sierra.  She was just a young punk that skipped school to come to the cafe ordering a side of blue cheese and a hunk of french bread.  We made our own mayonnaise there as well which really added to the sumptuousness of the blue cheese.  With random strangers I discuss the very sad state of poor blue cheese dressings in the grocery store.  I found a brand once years ago that I finally could live with.  It was expensive yes, but some damn good stuff.  Then I got on my HFCS (high fructose corn syrup) kick and was beside myself angry when I found that ugly ingredient in the dressing I had come to almost love.  I even thought about writing a letter to the company that made the dressing berating them for their poor lack of judgment.  I never followed through with the letter.....I had a baby instead or something. 

Yesterday I planned a trip to the grocery store by myself.  In my head I started to list the ingredients I would need to make blue cheese dressing.  Its not rocket science.  Its a pretty simple recipe.  Sure I wanted the expensive blue cheese but I felt okay with the cheaper stuff.  When I got home Violet helped me measure the ingredients into the mixer.  She scrunched up her nose when we brought out the cheese.  And with a couple pulses of the Cuisinart I was done.  We put some fresh greens from the back yard on some plates and drizzled the dressing over it.  It wasn't quite as good as when we were back in the cafe but I was pretty happy with it. 

This is what I did:

1/2 cup good mayonnaise

1/2 cup sour cream

1/4 tsp. white pepper

a couple cloves of crushed garlic

2-3 tbs. fresh lemon juice

a pinch of two of salt

1/2 tsp. dijon mustard

1 cup gorgonzola cheese cut into cubes

Mix it up in the Cuisinart.  It was a little thick for me so I added a tbs. of olive oil and some soy milk to thin it out.  You could use milk or half and half if you are feeling extravagant. 

getting burned

Violet's love of fireworks was short lived for when we lit the first sparkler last night the wind caught a little spark just so that it landed hot on Vi's cheek.  And then she was mad, and not so in love with bright lights and kabooms.  That spark landed right on her scar from the coffee table fall from when she was very wee.  We haven't had a coffee table since.  Today her cheek looks mad and shiny from ointment.  For the rest of our little family driveway show she cowered behind me, gone was the innocence of youth.  Instead she was skeptical, on edge and weary.  Not so sure this lesson deserves such a sting. 

I am ready to get on with July myself.  Looking forward to a school break in August.  Maybe a camping trip to the coast.  We have a big to do here waiting to see if Andrew will get a most desired job this week.  We don't really talk about it.  But its a stinking big deal.  He has been out of work for several months now.  And this sort can't go on for long.  So there is some holding of breath this week. Wish us luck and healthy cheek healing.

She popped out from behind the kitchen wall and said, happy fireworks day!  Then Papa made french toast.

a bad liar

Vi, "My bones hurt when I fold laundry."

Me, "Really, why?"

Vi, "Because of the mosquito that drank my blood."

Pause.

Vi, "Last summer."