two red lines

it's a doozy

It's the first morning in a few that I have had tea in the morning on account of the huge sauna we have been living in the last few days.  Hot days that makes breathing outside feel like torture, fireball stuck in your throat sort of torture.  I was just thinking of last weekend when Asher, my nephew, was hanging out with us. We caught a little parade that ran down one of our neighborhood streets.  Asher caught a handful of fireballs that were thrown from one of the paraders.  He popped one of those fireballs in his mouth then started this quiet contorting sort of walk, taking the fireball out of his mouth every other minute to catch a break.  He ended up spitting it out in a sidewalk flowerbed, checking first to see if anyone was watching him.  Whether he was embarrassed or a budding environmentalist I am not sure.  So now that I think of it the heat of the day hasn't been like fireball sucking, more like slow burning embers next to your body toasting you like a marshmallow.  Because I have hot embers slow cooking my body ALL THE TIME and know for sure what that feels like (poor pigs).  Some sort of soft comforting lining to all this moaning about a wee bout of hot weather?  My honey hooked up a window unit that blows glorious cold air making sleep feasible.  And a growing list of craft projects to complete once school is out and we are back from the mountains.  Montana mountains that is.  Yeah, a list of craft projects that I am going to blow through like the cool breeze of my dreams.  That is, if I don't get picked for jury duty.

anniversary

papa love

It was the night we stayed up late watching Gran Torino.  We started the movie late and I thought for sure I would only make it through half before succumbing to sleep.  But well after 11pm, late for us, we finished the movie and started getting ready for bed.  As I was stumbling into bed I realized Andrew had the scrabble dictionary open scouring the U section because that is just sometimes how crazy we roll around here.  When my thoughts stopped blurring and I could comprehend what he was doing I realized he was trying to find something for Violet to take to sharing day the following morning and darn if there aren't any objects that start with the letter U laying around our house.   Andrew takes sharing day very seriously.  One morning when I dropped Violet off on a Wednesday her teacher met us at the door excited to see what Violet had tucked in her backpack, whispering to me that Violet is the only student that ever has anything interesting to share. Well it turns out that the scrabble dictionary wasn't any help but the following morning Andrew spent some time coloring in a large black arrow on a sheet of paper, Up. That morning I was too involved in avoiding the possible tantrum surrounding a certain purple dress that Violet wants to wear every day to think about the letter U.  I'm just saying, he's pretty damn good, that papa. 

Violet conversation in the car

"I really want to go to Michigan though."

    Do you want to fly there?

"Yeah, on a boat."

   

Silence.

"And I want to go see Noni and Indy in Hannah Montana."

BW around the BY

a friday morning

Sitting in the doorway this morning before the heat comes and pushes us either inside or toward water.  I asked her what makes her happy and she said, trees.  When I asked her what else makes her happy she said, zebras. 

tied up

Mostly blurry these days, saucy too.  I am being swallowed whole by school, work and life so excuse the lack of substance here.  I have things to say, which don't get said.  I have a break coming up in August, a wee trip to Montana and then a few weeks free from school.  Perhaps then I will gather my ideas and blog like the wind.  For now I am going to open a book and read.  Read and read. 

Last night from the mouth of my husband

"Honey, did you get that cricket last night?"

"Yeah, I squashed that mother fucker in two!"

This not surprising coming from a man that, for father's day, sent his own father a forked spear to get rid of the rodents in the backyard......(my nana would love that rodent spearing gadget)

on not running a sham

One of the projects I did for school this term was to experiment with an intervention (read: something a therapist does to enact change) that the professor assigned us, to be done over a two week period.  I think I could study all the reasons people change, learn all the tricks to get people to change and even become successful at it but without that piece inside of me that knows how hard it is to do something different, to be better, I think I would just be running a sham.  So this experiment was an intervention we, as students, were to carry out ourselves as if we were clients.  He instructed us, for a two week period, to record at the end of the day three things good that happened that day and why we think they happened.  Prior to the start a supposed client would fill out a small questionnaire with such questions like, how satisfied are you with your life (scale 1-5)?  Following the experiment the client would fill out the same questionnaire hopefully marking a contrast between the two week period.  So I did this.  I made a little chart and each night I sat down and wrote three things that I was thankful for in that day.  Except for on the days I forgot.  Some days it was easy to come up with three things, walked to the tart yogurt shop with family for treats, financial aid check came in the mail or ate a salad with greens from my garden.  On some days it was more challenging.  But when I was in it I began to realize as I went through the day that I was thinking, yup, this moment right here will make the list or this day sucks, what happened.  And while we haven't talked about the professors intention (because therapists always have intention) behind the intervention I can guess it has something to do with mindfulness (read: awareness of what we are doing, choices we are making in our lives, abilities to affect out happy).  The questionnaire that I filled out at the start of the experiment was mostly good as I reckon I am where I want to be in my life and pretty damn happy.  It was with surprise that I was even more satisfied with my life following the intervention.  Tricky professor.  Do I challenge you to do the same?  Maybe just one idea a day for a week?  No, just do it if you want to.  Because you might find out you are happier than you thought you were.